So I Tried… Old Timer Transport

Each edition of So I Tried… I will try a game that I have never played before. Will I find something new to love? Will I find something new to despise? I'll take a full half hour, no matter how bad it gets or how badly I do, to see if this is the game for me. This time around, I tried my hand at being a geriatric transportation specialist in Old Timer Transport! To be specific, the GrinCast as a whole joined in as we played the title in our semiweekly streamcast.

What I thought it was

As is tradition, I went into the game as blind as possible, only glancing at it briefly as I hit the download button. Judging by the name and images I saw, I imagined this would be one of those silly physics-based games; maybe we’d need to play as a wobbly old person driving around some kids while trying not to break the law or cause mass chaos? I was a bit unsure how the PvP element would fit in, though most of the time it boils down to deliberate sabotage and hilarious mistakes.

What it actually is

In Old Timer Transport, we did indeed control a senior citizen driving a mobility scooter with an attached cart at the back, but that was as far as my guess lasted. Instead of obeying the law and worrying for the safety of our passengers, we instead raced at breakneck speeds to collect civilians dropping from the sky, attaching them to our cart like balloons, and then tearing up the asphalt to get them to a local hospital for points. Why were we doing this? No idea, but I think aliens were involved.

The PvP elements were pretty evident: ferrying people to the hospital nets you points, and the one with the most points is the monarch of the bingo hall! However, victory was not always down to the fastest driver, as whipping your little cart at your fellow senior chauffeurs could knock them down, causing them to lose their passengers. If you were quick, you could smack a friend, steal their balloon-people, and skedaddle to the hospital with an amazing haul!

The driving itself was a bit clunky, but it did have a fun bit of weight. Jumping off a ramp onto a small islet was usually accompanied by a fittingly sweet flip, and we did our best to do some cinematic handbrake turns, but with mixed results. The levels themselves also had fun little obstacles and ramps for us to crash into, with my favourite being giant boxes loaded with spring-powered boots which would punt you into the distance! Each round also had a random effect, such as infinite involuntary boosting or ice physics, that would turn on suddenly, adding to the already chaotic free-for-all.

Will I keep playing

During our short stint with the game, we managed to play two or three matches in the pair of levels available. Having tried all of the game modes included at the time of writing, I do admit that it felt like we had little left to see. As such, I don’t think I’ll be coming back to Old Timer Transport, unless specifically asked.

While I can see its potential as a “hey let’s play a quick game of something” during a party, its current state does leave a bit to be desired. If and when Old Timer Transport is fleshed out a bit with more game modes and tracks, I’d be down to give it another chance, but for now, it’s going in the NO pile.

Now, despite my grumbling, if you think the concept sounds fun for even an afternoon of shenanigans, the enticing price tag of “free” makes giving it a chance a no-brainer.