Priest Simulator: Her Ghost DLC Review

So, Priest Simulator: Her Ghost DLC is the first DLC for Priest Simulator: Vampire Show, and while I enjoyed the base game a fair bit, the same could not be said for the DLC. Set after the events of Vampire Show, Her Ghost promised three separate exorcisms, the tooth fairy, and a new ally joining the fray in the form of Cardinal Godspeed. However, first, to get through all of this, you must complete three rallies.

Bomba, the mysterious salesman, tells Orlok he needs to complete three races to get a prize. What is the prize? I’m going to be honest with you guys. I don’t know.

The car’s controls aren’t the most intuitive, but the first two rallies? Incredibly doable. However, having these races serve as something of a barrier to get to the story just seems… it seems like a choice. Now, I’m not that good at racing games to start with, but the third San De Ville Rally just doesn’t seem the most accessible for any player, much less one who signed up for an FPS and not a racing game.

See, the third race involves you driving through the graveyard. Now, the wheels get caught on everything, and tight corners aren’t really the easiest at the best of times. But, with how long it takes to get through the graveyard, you lose a good amount of time. So, I’m not going to say I tried once and then gave up. That’s silly: I tried 10 times before I realised that this just… this wasn’t worth it. It’s not even like you can cheat, either. You need to get through all the checkpoints to complete the race, but going through the checkpoints doesn’t really net you any bonuses. It’s not like these checkpoints allow you to add another 10 seconds to your time limit, as is what I usually expect in these kinds of games. No, instead, if the timer runs out, you automatically lose the race.

It doesn’t help that there are some glitches here, too. See, along with the car being toppled over by the teensiest breath of wind, the fuel icon doesn’t always show the correct amount of fuel. There were some times that I ran out of fuel during the race, but I couldn’t simply exit the race. No, I had to wait for it to end because if I went to the Pause Menu to exit the race, I couldn’t choose “Yes” or “No” to quit the race. The buttons didn’t work.

So, I would avoid this if you don’t want to do a racing side-quest in the form of a main quest. It just didn’t feel necessary, and this was a wall between a fun story with the tooth fairy reigning havoc around San De Ville and my own ineptitude and janky controls. It’s not as though there’s a lot to do outside the races at this point, aside from continue your Exorcisms, complete the side-quests you hadn’t finished yet, and maybe go to a brief glowy circle of crosses that are scattered on the map to catch-up with Kremuva who will show cutscenes that will tell you what happened at the end of the game’s story.

I may go back to this one day, but for now, I’m happy to leave Priest Simulator: Her Ghost where it is and pretend that Vampire Show was the end. By all accounts, I enjoyed the base game, but this DLC felt like another depth of Hell.